Dancing with Mr. D

Throughout my music career, I worked between tours at either my friend’s bead store or a Native American Gallery in Old Town San Diego. Both were locally owned by people who understood my career choices and gave me hours when they could.

One of my co-workers at the Gallery (Kathy) had recently moved from New Jersey. As we got to know each other, Kathy talked about her sister Susie and her sister’s boyfriend, who was apparently in a notorious punk band. His name was Glen and he was the lead singer of the Misfits. Yep, I had heard of him all right.

The first time I met Susie she was convalescing from a breast augmentation, a birthday gift from said boyfriend. I was aghast, yet I could see the irony. A gift for her...riiiight. She mentioned that Glen was coming in a week to look for a place to live in Los Angeles and to visit; she thought we should all have dinner together. I thought, “Sure. What have I got to lose?” I also thought this could go so very wrong.

The day of our meeting Kathy tried in vain to prepare me, "Glen has a temper, Synde. Oh and he's kind of um…short. Please don't make jokes." Honestly the more she warned me the more I looked forward to the EVENT.

We met up at my favorite vegetarian restaurant, a serene little place in North Park. When I arrived, Kathy and company were waiting for me. Now, I am NEVER LATE…EVER! I am compulsively early!! ALWAYS!!!

Before I could even sit down or greet the party, the mutton-chopped dude looked through his bangs covering one eye and announced, "You're late." His disapproval hung in the air.
I smiled my best "fuck you" smile and noted that I was actually 10 minutes early. Susie cringed and apologized and said that she might have "forgotten that the Misfits were playing the Spirit that night and we had to rush a bit."

Being the polite person that I am, I asked Glen about the Misfits, moving from New Jersey and his high-heeled boots. The Misfits are known for their blend of serial killer/horror themed music, and Mr. Danzig was doing his best to make me quiver with fear over his "intense evilness and knowledge of serial murderers"

Each time he gestured, moving the air with his meaty hands, his ginormous...(wait for it...) belt buckle would get caught on the table, starting a cataclysmic shockwave of tumbling glasses and sliding plates. It was awesome. It happened 3 or 4 times until he finally got frustrated and gave up. Slowly, his bad humor grew until he was absolutely furious with my ambivalence. He became completely quiet, glowering in silence like a sullen child. (To this day whenever I see Danzig's video Mother, I still fall into hysterical fits of laughter).

We finished our in meal in tension-filled silence and Glen paid. He shook my hand and said he would see me at the show...but what it sounded like was, "I will slit your throat in your sleep."

Kathy was not phased by the whole discourse, as if this was a common occurrence.
We went to the Spirit, drank a bit, (read-- A LOT) and waited for the show.

To be completely fair, they were awesome. All that sullen glowering had turned into complete rage and intensity on stage. I was pretty shocked. My favorite song is and will always be AngelFuck. I know it's silly and immature; perhaps that is why I love it so. That night a fallen angel sang it.

After the show, I let him know that the band was great; he accepted the compliment well. I left thinking that I had been unfair.

Two weeks later, he broke it off with Susie in favor of some Los Angeles Stripper. Apparently stripper poles are the new Boob Jobs.

So much for feeling like I was unfair.

In my time in and out of the music biz, I’ve run into Glen quite a few times. He has always been kind. He even lets me tease him about his age, height, and addiction to working out. I say it's because he has muttonchops, and as we all know... everything is cooler with muttonchops.

I have to say that maybe some guys get cooler with age. I think he has. Still...I leave you with this link...

It will ease the pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHv3qO_Y8kk&feature=related