Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Relevance I haz it?

Wow! Today was one of those days where I woke up and BOOM, the struggle for relevance was on! Coming from the music business I always felt very much a part of things. Socially and artistically. When my health forced an early retirement out of me, I struggled to find the kind of social and artistic contribution that felt right. I owned my own esoteric bookstore, read tarot and the like, but couldn't make a living. Finally I settled on (for?) working in a chain bookstore and owning my own jewelry business. I have always kept one foot in the "biz" as many of my friends still work in it. Lately I have heard a lot of "wow you have been gone a looong time" and "you mean you don't know that band?" I struggle sometimes to feel like my cool points are being slowly stripped away. I still have lots of connections- but day jobbery often prevents me from hitting up gigs and playing nightly with pals. Being well connected doesn't mean I don't need creative recognition. It's a funny thing, when your friends are "noteworthy" it's harder than ever not to crave and creative recognition.

Age is a cruel master indeed. Recently a supervisor suggested it was time I start "acting my age." WTF does that mean? Dressing in granny jeans and letting my hair go gray? Listening to Michael Buble and wearing a fanny pack?

I firmly believe that you are as old as you act, so don't expect me to grow up anytime soon. I will keep pushing myself.

The stories I tell here are not just memories, they are little lessons I have learned. Some beautiful, some embarrassing—all life changing. I hope the reader gets that. I don't want you all to think I am parading my life before your eyes for no reason. After all: I'm not dead yet!!

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
goes away
In the end


  1. Age & Music are so subjective. After 20, music changes for you (trust me) and things start sounding like copies of things from our teen years. I almost cried when I heard "Retro" and it was music from when I was a teen.

    My nieces will talk about they're fav bands & I usually wear the who the funk are they talking about face. But then you get gems, like when they ask about Sublime or start singing Depeche Mode.

    New music sucks donkey balls, I'm sticking to the "oldies".

  2. OMG I would flip my shit if I had a supervisor tell me to act my age. That just speaks VOLUMES of the person who says something retarded like that, come ON. And you know you're relevant if you end a blog post with NIN ;)

  3. Word. I think we all battle with the age thing. Then to have people tell you to act your age definitely doesn't help. Whoever that was can fuck right off.

    The new music sucks especially the trendy fads but there are always new bands that are good. And they're usual in the old genres but hey ya never know. Good to be open minded and good to stay connected if possible. Sounds like it's not hard for you to stay connected since you still have industry connects. Hope your evening goes better than your morning. ;)

  4. I kinda know how you feel. I used to work for Tower Records, and I felt like I was always totally up on everything. When I left in 2000, I totally felt like I'd lost contact with something that was a huge part of my life, set adrift not knowing what was going on. These days I've gotten around it by subscribing to a bunch of music blogs via Google Reader, but it's very telescopic, you know? Most of the blogs only tend toward one genre (and some just to a single subgenre), so it's hard to cast my eye toward new music that's outside of that focus.

    And I've been wrestling with the "act your age" issue myself, though mine's been largely self-imposed. I've been trying to find a job for a year and a half now (after being laid off from a decade-long job producing DVDs of British TV programs, which allowed me to look as...*unique* as I wanted), and I keep looking at positions that wouldn't possibly even think about hiring an enormous, sometimes-shaven-headed, tattooed guy with a six-inch-long goatee, and wonder what the hell I'm thinking.